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I don’t usually like self-help books anymore. It’s nothing against the books themselves. It’s that I went through a phase when I read so many of them that I burned out. I no longer feel supported when I try to read a self-help book.
Instead, I feel preached at. It often boils down to “follow my advice or you’re in for a miserable, unproductive life.” In other words: my way or the highway. Get up earlier? I already get up at five a.m., and this hasn’t dramatically improved my life. Make your bed? I remember to do this maybe half the time. The world hasn’t ended. Stop procrastinating or you’ll show you have no respect for yourself? I mean, in my case, it shows that I have chronic depression and anxiety.
You know what? Maybe it is the books themselves.
Not all of them, of course. I loved The Artist’s Way. Big Magic. Atomic Habits. But most of the time, self-help books don’t work for me. Memoirs, on the other hand? Now we’re talking. I like putting myself in other people’s shoes. Isn’t that why we all became readers in the first place? Memoirs drop me straight into lives I will never live, and as someone with an intense sense of curiosity and a thirst for knowledge? There’s nothing more attractive than that.
But that’s not all. Many memoirs show you ways in which you could apply lessons learned to your own life. Whether it’s intentional or a happy byproduct of the author telling their story, you can walk away from them better equipped to handle this big, messy thing we like to call life. These are four memoirs that did just that for me.
Adventures in Opting Out by Cait Flanders
In this book, which aims to be both memoir and self-help, Flanders takes you through her attempt to spend a year traveling the UK while encouraging you to take the path your heart desires, even if it means opting out of the life everyone else envisioned for you. A hiking metaphor underlies the memoir, in which different parts of a hike exemplify various aspects of an adventure. There’s the valley, the peak, and so on.
All Access members, find three more recommendations below.
Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes
When her sister told her, “You never say yes to anything,” Rhimes set out to spend a year doing just that: saying yes to things that scared her. Most of us will never be presented with the opportunities or risks she was, but I dare you to read this memoir and not feel inspired to say yes to things that scare you.
The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
Like Year of Yes, this book features a year-long challenge. Rubin attempts to incorporate more happiness into her life. Each month is dedicated to a different aspect of her life she wants to improve, and each chapter is interspersed with readers’ comments and advice.
Soil by Camille T. Dungy
When Dungy, her husband, and their daughter moved to the predominantly white community of Fort Collins, Colorado, she had to contend with her homeowner association’s strict guidelines for what she could and could not plant in her own garden. Thus followed a seven-year quest to diversify her environment. It serves as a metaphor for confronting racism and the power of diversifying our communities and cultures. You’ll walk away from this memoir ready to reject homogeneity in all its forms and embrace the beautiful differences in the world.
Would you like more memoirs? Try these must-read 2025 memoirs for your TBR. If you’re firmly on the self-help train? Check out 9 of the best gentle self-help books. Happy reading!